Day 142: Why I’m still doing massage after 33 years.
I am so going to follow you! Thanks for the laughs.
I was a deep tissue therapist for 27 of my 33 years as a massage therapist. I didn't like to use tools, but I had knuckles, fists, and elbows. I'm 5' 2.5" and men thought I couldn't deliver when they asked for deep tissue. One man said to me after a 90 minute massage, "I didn't think you could hurt me, Mary"... HA! Sometimes it was the men who couldn't handle it more than the women. And, it was the anorexic women who wanted it the deepest — go figure.
There were times, though, that some clients would ask for ‘as deep as you can give it’. Well, I’m no longer willing to destroy my own body because they want everything done in one massage, and their last massage was five years ago. The sinister part of me thinks, ‘ok, you want deep? hmmm’.
“Start face down, please, and I’ll knock before I enter.” If they allow me to massage their head, I start there because that feels really good. Then I go in for the ‘kill’…the occipital area, right under the back of the skull. As an acupuncturist, too, I know the acupuncture points that are there, and most people’s points are triggered (meaning tight and painful) because of the desk jobs, and the neck trying to hold up a bowling ball.
Another cause of tightness there is from people holding their shoulders up in tension. Strategically placing my thumbs into those acupuncture points is going to definitely release the tension there, but when DEEP pressure is applied, it hurts like hell. This is where I test if the person really wants deep tissue work, because most don’t really know what they are asking for. Many tell me to back off, and I do, because it is not my real intention to inflict pain, even if they like pain, but to see if they understand what deep tissue is about. Many really want firm work, not deep tissue.
The next test of pressure is the upper shoulders, but more importantly, the muscles in the scapula. There are several small muscles that go across your ‘wing’ bone. Smaller muscles can seem to hurt more than the bigger ones. There are several acupuncture points in that area, as well, and most are triggered. I go in deep into those points, again, because they asked me for deep tissue — as hard as you can give it… I stop, if their wincing doesn’t.
The third area that gets to people is the piriformis muscle in the butt. When you experience a sharp pain that goes through your butt, it is probably that muscle, unless you have sciatic issues. An elbow into that point (GB30) is also going to produce a fair amount of pain.
If people would allow the therapist to do their work, and listen to the muscles and body, you are probably going to get a good massage, and not be afraid to come back. You can tell your therapist if you like firm work, or some just prefer to be stroked in a relaxing way, to smooth out some kinks.
If you find you made a mistake in asking for deep tissue but you really just wanted some firm work, PLEASE let your therapist know, immediately. You are paying them. You are there to get what you need. If you and the therapist have never met, you are both trying to figure it out. The therapist won’t feel bad about you telling them what you need. What feels bad is when the client DOESN’T say anything and then writes a bad review on Yelp, or something.
If it just isn’t a match, the therapist and/or the client have the right to not see each other, again. Sometimes it can be just chemistry. In my 33 years of doing massage, I think I can safely say that I have literally given tens of thousands of massages. I know this is probably true because in an 8+ year span, I know that I’ve given 13,000. Most have been happy with my work, but I know that I can’t please everyone. If I get bad feedback, I know it’s just not a match, and I will not let them book with me, or I try and help them figure out what they need, and refer them to someone I think they can benefit from. I do not feel bad that I couldn’t deliver. I have my following, and I love them, dearly.
So, Benjamin, if you are in my area, give me a call!
