Day 32: Life is Fragile.

This morning I went to Mass. Since I cannot go on Sundays because I start work in the mornings on Sundays, I try and make it a couple times, or so, during the week. I have lots to pray for, but lots to give thanks for, as well. I do both.

In the mornings at weekday Mass, it is usually the same handful of people who show up. Maybe about 15–20 people, of which many are over 60, some 85–95, and a few younger. On Wednesdays, the school children attend (we don’t serve the wine at Communion on Wednesdays). But, today was fragile. A particular couple, whom I know fairly well, come and they are in their 80s. He has had trouble with joints, in particular his knees. He uses a walker but typically only sits, and sometimes stand. If you have ever been to a Catholic Mass, you know we sit, stand, kneel, sit, stand, kneel and repeat, depending on what part of the Mass. His wife stays sitting with him, partly because his legs are in the way of putting the kneeler down.

I saw her holding his hand but the left hand and she was on his right. It was during the prayers the Priest says over the wafers and wine, so all of us were sitting. He was very subdued with his head slightly down.. Then I noticed Father Joah walking quickly towards them and I saw a woman talking on the phone describing to the 911 people what was going on, and where we were located for the First Responders. He did not move and as I looked over, I thought I realized that he was dead, and just said, “Oh Jesus”. Drool dripped from his mouth. They put him in a lying position which I believe the people on the phone told her to do. Still he wasn’t responding and his wife was beginning to show some agitation. As the EMTs showed up, they were talking to him loudly trying to get him to respond, which he actually did. Eventually, they sat him up and asked him the usual questions of “do you know your name?”, “do you know what day it is?” and he knew both answers. In the meantime, prior to them showing up, the Priest decided we should continue with Communion and stop when they came. They took him to a hospital.

Later that day I went to work, and my second client, whom I know very well told me that there were all kinds of emergency people at her house, just now. She is having quite a bit of work done to the inside of her house and has hired an independent contractor. He has some workers that he brings with him, and one of them appeared to be sleeping on the floor. This worker is dealing with bipolar disorder and is also on the Methadone program. He was breathing but also unresponsive. No matter how they tried to get him to respond, he just wouldn’t. Even when the paramedics came and put him in the ambulance, he wouldn’t respond, but at least he was still breathing.

Twice in one day. At present, I don’t know anything about either of them. Truthfully, I’m not expecting good news to last with the one from church. He is 87, and when they were putting him on the stretcher, his body was very unstable and shaking. Of course, I could be very wrong, though, I know we all have a time to stay, and a time to leave. Eventually, we will all go through this.

All I can say is love the people you are with. If there are people draining your life, move away from it. I say that not out of unkindness, but those are emotional vampires and they will steal your life blood. Life is short. It is fragile — handle with prayer. Pray for those who do you wrong, because if you let them continue to do wrong to you, you will be filled with anger, regret, agitation, unkind words, and your soul will be unsettled. Do what you need to keep your heart and soul in a joyful place. I have spent hours and days trying to emotionally recoup from dysfunctional situations, and it is just not worth it. I have found the strength to let go of those who do not bring me happiness, or if I am not kind with them, I know that I cannot stay because it hurts us both. Life is fragile. Life is short. I feel sad when I have to let someone go. That was not why I got into relationship with them in the first place. I know people have let go of me. My door remains open to some form of healing but that doesn’t mean that we have to go back to the way it was. If it isn’t healthy, it probably won’t be unless God intervenes — and sometimes He does when our own stuff gets in our way.

Tomorrow I will continue with the Meridians of Wood/Liver and Gall Bladder. Liver is about Vision, and Gall Bladder is about carrying that Vision out. In the meantime, think about your Vision in your life, and the people you love being a part of that. Then when I explain the Wood energy, it might make some sense.