I just thought I was a judgmental person….

Photo by Yeasir Ahmed on Unsplash

I didn’t know there was an actual medical term for it. I couldn’t understand why others around me in a given situation didn’t seem to feel the same way or show signs of reacting like how I felt. I thought that there must be something inherently wrong with me for my internal responses that I tried to hide with a stone face. If you knew me you would know that I can hardly hide any of my facial responses because I am a reactor. And if I hold my face still, you can see (at least I can feel) my body vibrating.

Photo by Folco Masi on Unsplash

I read a story about an actress that had similar reactions like I do in these situations with people SHE LOVED, and she felt bad about having them, too. It was her story that told me what I had. It is a hard thing to talk about because you don’t want to sound like a shytty person for feeling like that. I thought it was the way I was brought up, and that may be true and maybe my dad had the same condition.

For me, it was listening (and watching) people eat. At home, we had to always chew with our mouths closed — which I totally agree with — and couldn’t talk if there was food in our mouths. (I DO like snapping my gum….) I can be with a group eating or in a restaurant and this…