The fish always rots at the head.
She said to me, “The fish always rots at the head.” She saw my quizzical look because I had never heard that saying before. She said, “It’s true. When a fish is dead, it starts rotting from the head and then goes into the body. And, it really stinks up the place.” She’s right about THAT.
My friend, though, was referring to the people she worked for, and the way she was being treated by her bosses. The owners of this successful small business were man and wife. Neither seemed to have boundaries. He spoke in demanding tones to her and she thought nothing of making my friend skip her lunch to meet a deadline (but wouldn’t allow her to eat at her desk, either). She was unhappy there, but she was making good money, something that hadn’t happened to her — ever. She was divorced (and then her ex died of alcoholism), 60+, and even though she had great skills and experience in her field, and could manage an office, expertly. She didn’t feel like she could leave and start somewhere else. “If I can just manage two more years, and save a lot of money.. I’ve never had so much money saved.” She had $22,000.00 in a 401K plan, I believe. Certainly not enough to carry her into her 80s, but if you’ve never had ANYTHING before, it’s a lot of money to see on a statement and she had social security because she was the first wife of at least ten years. She was frugal, so who really knows how much is enough. It’s all relative, right?
But, the fish rots at the head. The Head in this case were the owners. Other employees felt similar, but my friend was the only female, except for the wife. The males could blow off the husband, or get away with things because they were making the sales. Most of them were younger and had better options of starting over somewhere else, if they didn’t want to stay there. Those that knew better than to stay, she told me, made a lot more money when they left. They refused to be part of the rotting fish. They refused to be spoken to in a condescending tone any longer. The cream always rises to the top. She was cream, but was held down by her circumstances.
The Head can be anyone, in any situation, though. It plays out at work many times, but it can play out in families, groups, organizations, and such. When the Head is not taking care of the Body, you are going to have problems. What you put in your mouth, so to speak, will affect everything else. Most people can see things. Most people talk to each other about things. Yes, sometimes there is a paranoia of who is being treated right, and who isn’t, and the Head may be grooming a particular person to carry out the icky duties; therefore, it doesn’t LOOK like it’s coming from the Head, but eventually people figure things out. Employees come and go for different reasons, and everyone has to figure out what they are willing to accept in their job, or not. No one can decide for you.
But, if you are the Head, it behooves you to make your employees feel valued, and compensate them for that. It’s too late to say to someone who gave their notice that you will offer them a bigger salary if they stay on. If you thought they deserved it then, you know they deserved it before. Employees who are treated well, are loyal. But, if many employees leave at similar times, you know that something is probably wrong. Happy employees don’t leave. They may leave because of life circumstances and caring for their own families, because they are the Head there, and they must do what’s best for their situation, or they may retire. There are other reasons, too, I know.
Sometimes people leave because of other employees, or partners. Technically, they aren’t the Head (a business partner could be), but may be in a type of position above you, and act as a Head. I left a small radio station many years ago. I enjoyed working for the station because I learned a lot about radio station life. I was newly divorced and had a young daughter. I needed a job. The station couldn’t provide me with advancements unless I went into sales. Then, I would have gotten a very nice car to drive (clients did bartering for key advertising spots), medical benefits and a pay raise. I didn’t have the desire to drive all over town looking for clients, either. One of the announcers had a wife who worked for a big corporation, and I found a 15 year spot there. When the radio station offered me medical benefits to stay on because they liked my work, I simply said that they just couldn’t ever give me the things a large corporation could. This was in 1979. That was true, but that’s not the real reason for my leaving. One of the partners kept touching me, inappropriately. Like putting his hand down my shirt when he came up behind me. I don’t lie very well. So, the bookkeeper knew that there was something else. Maybe she saw him do that because we shared a room but were on opposite sides, and our backs were facing each other. She was much older (I was 26), and I think she knew about this man. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one, even though we were a small staff. I told her in confidence, but she did go to the other partner about it. He did come to question me, apologized to me and was visibly upset, and said he would take it up with his partner. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. I knew that I simply had to get out of there before the rot got further into me.
Everyone deserves respect, but a certain type of respect must be earned. And from it, you will gain loyalty. Yes, there is the respect that as a human being, we should always receive. The Head takes care of the Body. Whether you are the Head of a business, or Head of a family, taking care of the Body will reap benefits for all. How can you lose?
