Whenever I read articles on Medium, and someone asks an author what their credentials are for making statements they believe to be true, seems to me that because someone has credentials in a particular field, does not make them an expert, either. That said, it becomes a judgement, as well. I’m thinking most people write here from their own hearts and experiences, which are the truth to them. We all have credentials on life because we live here. Earth is a place of learning, not the end-all.
I cannot tolerate cheating. Intimacy is too sacred to me, that way. Love making is a bonding together of two bodies in a way that melds them together, physically and spiritually. I am monogamous, and I expect my partner to be the same way. If that cannot happen, then I am out. Flirting with someone else is cheating to me because that can produce sexual thoughts about someone else. Joking around is not necessarily the same as flirting, but there can be a fine line. I don’t think it is wrong to have friends of both sexes, either, and to have fun with them but once someone creeps over that ‘line’, it becomes a whole new scenario. This is my opinion and you don’t have to accept it, and some of this comes from my learning experiences. No one would have the right to tell me to re-consider my thoughts based off my experiences. I have. I believe monogamous relationships are all I want to have, and all I want to accept for me. Therefore, polygamous religions or cultures are not for me. Pornography is also out. It’s still thoughts about someone else and either I, or you, become second place.
It doesn’t mean I don’t see beautiful people out there. As a massage therapist, acupuncturist, and esthetician, I am always looking — and touching — people, and I have to be very aware of crossing any lines that can be misconstrued wrong. I even hold that true for any partners I have had along the way. Why? Because I never want them to wonder if I might do the same to a client. I want them to fully trust me in my work. Especially in a massage. Massage already has more than one meaning so it is important to keep my touch and draping professional. Esthetician work, like waxing, can move into intimate areas, so keeping strong boundaries is a must. My licenses depend on it, as does my integrity.
Taking someone’s money, whether $2 or $100, is also not right, and it can devastate some more than others, depending on their financial state. It tells the person who it was stolen from something about someone they trusted. When my kids took money from me, I was irritated but usually not devastated. If I knew they were in need, I probably offered it as a gift, or found some way they could “earn” it.
Addictions are illnesses, and many people can’t stay with their partners through some of them, others can, and it is a personal decision that no one can make for anyone else. It can slowly eat at your core. It can destroy families.
So, fidelity is also very personal, and I cannot decide for you. I just know I want a monogamous relationship. I don’t like one night stands, either. Diseases happen, and I have seen that world, too. I worked with people affected by HIV/AIDS, and hepatitis, too. Getting infected can be temporary but it can be lifelong, as well. I cannot shield myself from everything. Many of us have had more than one partner, depending on our age and upbringing and beliefs. We do our best. Hopefully, we learn from our mistakes. We raise ourselves up, and we don’t beat ourselves up. We are worth love.
