WILL 2020 BE THE YEAR OF PERFECT VISION?
When I had it done, two and a half weeks ago, I never gave it a thought of 2020 coming upon us soon. It was necessary to have my eyelids surgically lifted because they were falling over my eyes, one faster than the other. While it wasn’t ‘blocking’ my vision, it was creating a shadow over it. I found myself constantly opening my eyes to raise my lid, but only to have it fall again. So, I went through the surgery to have them lifted. It left a lot of bruising around my eyes so that I knew I had to tell the people and clients I worked with that I had surgery because it looked like I had been beaten up, or in an accident. People were too polite to ask in case I was getting abused. I was not. I still have bruising and swelling so everyday is a surprise how they might look. The good news is, when this is all healed (4–6 months, I’m told), they should look good. In the meantime, they are not hanging into my eyes, and my eyes look open instead of partially closed. Quite a metaphor for me. Walking around much of the time with my eyes half closed — opened just enough to see what I think I need to see, and closed enough to NOT see what I don’t WANT to see. It DID stimulate some thoughts about it, though, and I’m wondering how I am going to enter 2020 — I don’t have perfect vision — I just gave it a way to see more openly. But am I really seeing more openly? Hmmm, not sure yet.
What might that look like for me?
In business expansion, I have been taking strides to recreate myself by adding new things to what I currently do. Some may know that I work in alternative ways of healing, and I love it. I also love creating things, so I have added a retail side to my work with items that will compliment what I do. My creations include anti-aging moisturizers, soaps that will do special things for your skin, pain reduction lotions, etc., and then I ‘play’ with them and add things that will go with them and create gift idea packages. Creativity moves your thinking to another part of your brain. It has amazed me how many problems I can find solutions to because I am not actually focused on them. My brain becomes relaxed enough that the “AHA” moment seems to just show up for me.
I’m also clearing out old things that don’t serve me any longer. Not necessarily in a feng shui way, per se, but in a more practical way. Getting rid of books I no longer need because I may now have 5–10 of the same types of books that repeat similar ideas. Giving them away will share them with others so they can learn new things, too. I’m sure I’ve held onto them as long as I have because good books are expensive, especially reference books. I’m sure I have thousands of dollars tied up in books. But, sharing the wealth just feels like a good idea as it raises people up. Everyone likes to receive free things, and what a great way. It frees up space for me to add something new, and it has great value and that value will come back to me in other ways. I see it as a win-win. I do this with clothing and other household items when I am feeling stuck, or in lack. When I see the bags full of items I am not using that someone else can, I truly see all the abundance I have been given, and I feel gratitude, instead of lack.
Those were just a couple of practical ways to keep my energy flowing in a positive direction. But, what about the vision of things that aren’t so comfortable? What will I do with that? How will I change my new year to ‘surgically’ change the things that are not making me feel like a good or generous or caring person? Maybe even making me feel bitter and angry because my thoughts are that I gave away too much and now feel used, but because someone became used to what I was doing for them, that stopping actually now feels cruel to me, and to them? I just read a quote that said, ‘If you set a boundary, expect to deal with anger’ and this has been true. It has been hard to open my eyes to see if I created the situation (as LOA and quantum theories pose), or if my generosity was really stupidity, or that I believed in an outcome that didn’t happen the way I wanted it to, or that I overstepped my bounds trying to help someone where I couldn’t because it was not my life lesson to learn (their problem) and I am not God. Then I start getting confused when to keep going with it, or when to stop doing it.
OK, this picture is just plain creepy….
I don’t want to stop believing in people. I don’t want to believe that some people take advantage of others for personal gain, or that scams really are real and they are not just the anonymous kinds on the internet. Sometimes they are businesses, like purchasing vacation spots, or advertisers who claim to DRIVE thousands of people to your door, or changes in financial portfolios where one year you’re doing good, but the next year the rules changed and it just cost you half of what you thought you had. Or, one year a president gave us a federal rebate, and the city government basically took it away by fixing sidewalks that had been cracked, or were raised by tree roots for years, and then charged the homeowner for the repairs. One hand gives, the other takes away. I don’t WANT to be that kind of person.
I don’t WANT to hear people complain about climate change and blame the baby boomers for it for not paying attention to their uses. Yet, they are contributing to the recyclables by drinking cans of water, or pop, or throwing their used chinese food containers in the garbage (some half full of wasted food) instead of reusing the container at home — or at LEAST leaving it for another co-worker to take home. Or, when my kids were in grade school and there were free breakfast and lunches for those in need (that’s a good thing) but seeing much of the food get thrown into the garbage — uneaten apples, unopened juice, half eaten sandwiches… I saw it because I would chaperone field trips and stand by the garbage. When I saw that someone was trying to throw untouched and still wrapped foods, or fruit and yoghurts away, I grabbed them and put the food on a table. If no one took it, I did, and either brought it home, or gave it away, or used it for snacks for the friends my kids brought home. The thought of the wasted food made me SICK. Take a trip to Feed My Starving Children centers and watch their videos about parents feeding their children actual mud pies — dirt with a bit of oil in it — so that their children could fall asleep because it stopped the hunger pains. If that doesn’t bring a tear to your heart, then I don’t think much could.
Complaining about oil companies (yes, I get upset about the spills, too) yet not thinking that they use oil/gas to heat their homes, and cook their food. I watch neighbors throw useful items in the trash that could have been donated, or given away. Outgrown toys made of plastic and in my city the garbage gets incinerated — all that plastic entering the air. Lawn furniture, garden tools, etc. I have taken (I ask first, but some says for trash) things that I have repainted and gave away just because it is still very useful. Maybe I am a bit anal, but I don’t think so. I was raised by parents who went through the great depression, and we did not waste anything. We didn’t over buy, either. We lived well enough that I didn’t even KNOW we were poor other than I didn’t have as many clothes as some of my friends, or money to spend at the zoo on treats or rides. I just didn’t know why because we ate really well (and I think better than my wealthier friends because they ate a lot of processed foods, and we didn’t), and always had our home and my mother always made our rooms look great, and my dad was quite handy (see the picture of the fireplace he built by hand. He got the granite free, and the wallpaper on top was hand painted from WWII when he served). We grew our food and my dad hunted deer. Mom canned and I learned some very important ways to survive well on a shoe string budget. I know very well that third world countries would die for even having what some people here consider poverty.
I believe in a Divine Power. I believe that when I do good works, good works will come back to me. I always give a client more than what they came for. If I received something free from someone, like the 30+ lily and hosta plants a neighbor dug up because they put an addition on their house, I left them with a bag of my goodies as a thank you. When people bought my limited edition Minneapolis mug, there was always something inside the mug like a chocolate pack to make hot chocolate, or a bar of my hand-made soap, or something to let them know I appreciated making the sale. It is SOO easy to bring a smile. And it is JUST as easy to make someone cry when I misunderstood an action, or made a quick judgement.
So I pray that my 2020 vision this coming year is that I don’t get taken advantage of because I didn’t pay attention and I fell into a snare, or that I don’t cause hurt to someone for over doing, or being to direct with my words, or setting a boundary after-the-fact but felt angry, first. I hope I have enough vision to slow down and pay attention, to teach what I know and to learn from others better ways.
“You make me want to be a better person.” But, I still have growing pains…
